Every day I pray that it gets easier... Every trip down to Mississippi should get better.... but I miss him more than words can say. They say the hurt won't ever heal, it will just get easier to bear... I hope this is true. I never thought it was possible for you heart to physically hurt from grief and sadness. It does. The pains are daily, the tears are often, and my thoughts of him, and words to him are unending.
I miss you Ethan Man. We all do. Clarissa and I rode your 4-wheeler last week. We road it through the trails you and her always took her on. She laughed and talked of you a lot. Pretty sure you were laughing hysterically at us when we got stuck in reverse and had to literally *back out* of the woods. Ha-ha! She has your sense of adventure! She even went to the Horror House and didn't squeal or get scared like I did. She misses you....
I was giving Celeste and bath. She is so funny. She has your eyes... And her giggle/cackle is you made all over. I am comforted with these little reminders of you.... I'm going to make sure she doesn't forget you. Celeste and I were walking outside at the farm, she wanted to go down to "Ethan's grave"... I wish she didn't know how to say that phrase, or ever had to learn it.
Your Mama and Daddy miss you so much.... We all do, but them especially. You were their little boy. Almost 14 years ago now that they held you for the first time. This week is hard on us all, but they were the ones with those special intimate memories of your first cry, touching you and kissing you as they held you for the first time.... Shine down on them this week... okay, Ethan-Man?
I love you.... I can't way until we are all together again....
Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the same easy way you always have. Laugh as we always laughed at the times we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it always was. There is absolute unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of your minds because I am out of your sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is past. Nothing has been lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before- only better. Infinitely happier. We will be one, together forever.